Monday, February 25, 2008

sordid stuff my ass!

I wasn't quite sure how to start this post, so I'm giving you a picture I took of some good old fashioned oakland zoo camel sex. You see, Biggles tagged me and now I'm all dirty. I've got to give up 5 sordid facts about myself.

The rules are: (or were it seems, because the master of meat couldn't pull it together and didn't bother to obey the first rule and tell me to post the rules, so thank you Cookiecrumb!)
1. Link to your tagger and post these rules.
2. Share 5 facts about yourself.
3. Tag 5 people at the end of your post and list their names, linking to them.
4. Let them know they've been tagged by leaving a comment at their blogs.

Hmmmmm...........after many days of contemplation, here goes:

5 Sordid Facts?

One-a-roo: As a toddler, I was known for scooching over and gnawing on the high lead content paint windowsill, then looking around to pluck dead flies off and, you guessed it, eating them.

D-d-d-dos: With a four year old and a nine month old in the house, and me being the stay at home parent, when I do the math, I've changed somewhere well over two thousand diapers. And that's being conservative.

Tha-ree: Sticking with the kids theme, once, about eight months ago, I was peed on four times in the same day. Before noon.

Ka-wa-tro: Enough of the kids, back to my gnarly, filthy old self. It's rare I don't eat something after I've dropped it on the floor. Butter side down toast certainly gives reason to pause, but mainly, naw. Now, let me make clear, I won't serve anything I've dropped on the floor to a family member or guest without carefully inspecting, washing, and then generally cooking it. Me though, I'm way more lax. Then again, I think that we are suffering from too clean an environment in our homes sometimes and that the added bonus of some healthy competition for the intestinal fauna from floor food just might be a good thing, however gross it is.

Fuh-hive: I've eaten dumpster chocolate. Not just any old dumpster chocolate, but Scharffen Berger. I know some folk who do dumpster diving on a regular basis. Not because of being destitute, but as a choice; to address the fact that we throw away somewhere near a quarter of all the food we prepare in this country. Not only is the methane this produces in landfills way not good, but considering how many million tons of waste this is, it makes great sense to me to glean the good stuff from the trash. Now, I don't go dumpster diving myself (it looks a bit strange to have to tether your kids to the trash bin while your in it searching around I've thought) but when my friend handed over a two pound plus, irregularly shaped chocolate hunk and said it was from Scharffen Berger, it piqued my interest a bit. Then having learned it had been shaved off and eaten from for weeks at this point, and that no one had been sick, I carved off a wedge and started eating. The beer might have helped.

So, was that disgusting, filthy, dirty and morally degraded enough to be five sordid facts?

Well, I'm gonna go ahead and tag five others who I'm sure have a disgusting little bit or two to share. I think, well, uh, hope......

You already saw the rules, then here's the links to more jewels:

Marc over at Mental Massala would be a lovely start. He is just so thoughtful, ethical and smart, I'd just love to hear something naughty from him.........please Marc?

Mimi, I know you must be craving to play along. Delectable Tidbits you say? How about give us the sordid, maybe a bit more blow chunky bits.

Lindsey. Writer and pastry chef. Awesome at both. With writing skills and much time spent in kitchens, she's gotta have some super sordid stuff in her nug. She's hella busy, so I'd like way understand if she bowed out of this one, but let us put our hands together and prey she might like to share. If you have never been over her way for some adventures in dessert, well, let me tell you, you need to.

Aileen? Are you out there? Cozy and warm I hope? Well, I figure with all the darkness this time of year up in the land of Quixote's Tart, there just has to be some sordid stuff. I hear the mind can get dark this time of year. It might help to share...........

Last only on this list, but only because I wondered for a long time wether she would have a scrap of time for this one and then said hell with it (big gasp for breath) is Leena. Leena eats this blog already contains plenty of sordid stuff. It practically leaks off the page sometimes. Now that, is gnarly. (I can say this because she is half a world away and can't come kick my ass!) But we want more.

That's all I gots! Please don't hate me now.

11 comments:

Busy all the time. said...

thanks for the compliments....i won't quite say thanks for the meme, but I'm sure there's some things I can cough up...

cookiecrumb said...

'Twas the boy what peed on you, waren't it?

K & S said...

wow....you have sucha cool life, and I mean it! (minus the pee that is)

leena! said...

Ha! I showed you! I totally already posted my meme.

And by the way, in two months, I will be on the same continent as you, which will greatly enable my ass-kicking capabilities. But I can be bought off with bacon.

Monkey Wrangler said...

Lindsey: Hack away!

Cookie: Score 3 for boy, 1 for girl on that particular day......

Kat: Yeah, less being peed on is much better. In fact (maybe I'll jinx myself here) but it's been near two months!

Leena: Bacon in the freezer. But thanks for the tip, I'll stock up!

Rev. Biggles said...

Hey man,

Sorry for the tardy reply, too busy to breathe.

Dang, I wonder how many I've changed? Both boys stopped cold when they were 3, phew! And only 1 wet bed in 12 years.

Biggles

Mimi said...

So... the lesson from your meme is.. if we are invited to your house for a meal, it is a good idea to grab a glass of cider and pull up a chair near the cooking area so that we can keep track of which piece of garlic bread fell butter side down onto the floor before we sit down to eat. lol!! I was at my "in laws" house awhile back. A friend of theirs was bbqing lobster tails for us and he dropped one on the patio and then within seconds scooped it back up and popped it back on the barbie. We were all trying to guess which one it was later after we lost track of it.

Oh... I finally posted my meme. Better late than never. :0)

Jeena said...

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I would love to see you on there to chat about food and cooking you can talk about anything you like and start your very own topics. :-)
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Zoomie said...

So, that's how camels do it! Another mystery solved.

Aileen said...

Not necessarily warm, but "cozy" is a lovely, rather Spring'ish, way to describe two folks, two hooligan hounds, and all of our respective belongings co-existing in our hovel on stilts. And you know that I do so live being bucolic in the last frontier! As for sordid, I blush like a school-girl but am loving the excuse to be real! Now if I can only reign in my propensity for procrastination and dive into that meme soon.....

doktor dough said...

I guess the cheese we found and ate from the MUNI platform isn't quite as good as dumpster chocolate but if you ever need another sordid fact... Love the dead flies, too. Always so fun to read. Does the fact that i am not shocked by your posts say something?