Tuesday, August 21, 2007

two great tastes (?)

The door opens without knock or notice of any kind and in pops my cousin "greetings D!"

"Oh, hello Rohan. How are you?"

"You mean, are you well? You americans say it all wrong."

"Right Ro. Sorry. Are you well?"

"Yes, thank you for asking. Dearest of cousins, please forgive my intrusion but what on god's green earth is this next to your fruit. A tastie of sorts?"

"Wha?.......uh, oh that? A few gifts from my SIL. Want some coffee and a nibble of chocolate?"


"Well, take a closer look."

"Bloody hell, what the %#&! is this?"

"A few gifts."

"GIFTS? Like from a, what do you call it, a white elephant party?"

"Yes. I mean, no. No white elephant component, but yes, gifts like the thank you very much, I will enjoy these items immensely KIND. Ones that I will enjoy without fail. Ones that on some strange level, I have been searching for going on 5 plus years!"

"Are we really going to have coffee that has passed through an animal while enjoying a square of bacon flavored chocolate?"

"Yeah, check it out. It says mit speck on the bar and weasel on the bag. Everyone knows what that means."

I really have been trying to find a chocolate dessert item that contains bacon. More specifically a bacon chocolate chip cookie. I've never been brave enough, no, make that drunk enough to have attempted a batch at home though, and then into my lap drops a candy bar containing bacon, that puts off the experiment for at least another year. Wheew!

And the passed through an animal coffee? Haven't you ever heard of the stuff? Well, this gifted version doesn't actually pass through the weasel, or any weasel for that matter. It has just been processed with enzymes to simulate the passing through a civet's intestinal tract and out it's butt, only then to be dried in the sun, then ground up and brewed. Ah, technology.

Mmmm, that's some tasty weasel.
And Zotter is my new culinary hero.
Just thought I'd share.


K & S said...

Vosges' chocolates makes a bacon chocolate, don't know how it tastes but I've heard there is a LOT of bacon in it.

You should brew up some vietnamese style coffee (with condensed milk) too :)

Chilebrown said...

'Farmstead Cheese and Wine' on Park St. in Alameda, is selling a bacon chocolate bar. I have not tried it yet. I am going to try it and report back.

cookiecrumb said...

Shuna has been fooling around with the idea of chocolate and bacon.
Y'all bunch of crackheads.

Anonymous said...

Ok, what happened to you while you were away? Everything seemed fine at your house during your absence. I ate plums and tomatoes with my niece. Now you are back home talking about chocolate bacon cookies and coffee beans coming out of animal butts. I am beginning to wonder if the lack of sleep due to baby monkey is damaging your brain cells. Don't even start thinking bacon flavored coffee. I better bring you some wine to clear your head, and soon!
Love ya,

Leena! said...

Wow. You've completely rocked my world with this animal poo coffee.

I knew that Vosges did a bacon candy bar, but I haven't had a chance to try it yet. What did you think of yours?

If you are really dying to put bacon into dessert form, check out this recipe from Vanilla Garlic for Maple Bacon Cupcakes http://vanillagarlic.blogspot.com/

I vaguely remember seeing a recipe for bacon brittle floating around in chowhound too.

I honestly believe bacon can make any dish better, and if I was in a country that could make a semi-decent bacon, I would be all over this one.

Stacie said...

i just saw that on tv, the coffee from the butt of a cat in the jungle... somehow, i can't help but wonder how someone discovered this delicacy (?) and i am afraid that i am afraid... but bacon chocolate, how could you go wrong?

Mimi said...

Yuck and yuck. Sorry. Yuck. (Well...maybe I might try the chocolate. Chocolate seems to make everything all better).

Here's one for you while we're at it. A cheese that gets made even better by being slightly digested by fly larva:


Just the thing to top a sourdough english muffin with while you wash it down with Trung Nguyen Coffee and a side of bacon chocolate. Mmmm Breakfast of Champions!! :0)

Aileen said...

Ohhh...bacon chocolate! I think you jut led me to the perfect stocking stuffer for one particular Iowan-born Alaskan. I hadn't thought of chocolate chip bacon cookies. But I am certainly pondering it this morning. The Splendid Table has a recipe for Bacon ice cream with brown sugar. I keep meaning to make it. You know, I buy the bacon and set aside the time and get all excited to surprise the Iowan-born Alaskan with it. But somehow, all things go awry after frying the bacon and I end up running out of the star ingredient before I can even start the ice cream..... I won't comment on the coffee. I'd love to. But I'm in Alaska and winter is approaching - there's a feeling in the air and the fireweed is fading - and, for whatever reason, winter does something to what one finds funny....and, well, I just think it is better for me to wait until next June to say things on such topics in public venues.

Welcome back!

Monkey Wrangler said...

Kat: Thanks. I'll check out the Vosges bar sometime, maybe even having it with the Vietnamese style coffee (one of my favorite ways).

Chile: Yeah, get back to me on that one. Hopefully you'll have a report by Saturday. (?)

CC: Yep. Crackheads. Keep calling me that and I'll make sure you're the first to try the cookie.

Sis: The lack of oxygen for 5 days at 10,000+ feet along with the vicodin consumed after oral surgery the morning of this post really did me in. You're right though, wine will help.

Leena: The bar was good, but there were no detectable bits of bacon. I think what was meant by speck was lard. It had so many other flavors though that bacon was not what immediately came to mind.

As for bacon for dessert, thanks for Garret's recipe link. He's a really nice guy and a savory/sweet combo genius, but I'll wait. It's all about the bacon choco chip cookie.....

Stacie: Ditto on the "who figerd that one out?"
Mmmmm, bacon. Maybe what I need to do is an enormous bacon chocolate bar with like at least 6 pounds of bacon.

Mimi: Don't be sorry, that's what the comments section is for and I dig the honesty. And that cheese is double puke! I'd heard of it before but forgot the name so thanks for the link. Maybe, and this is a big maybe, the breakfast of champions would get me to try it (I'm working on the muffins right now, hmmmmm, where do I find that cheese?)

Aileeen: (wow, 3 e's, who'd a thunk?) Anyway, if you get to a test batch of these cookies before xmas, let me know. Sorry to hear the impending winter is starting to supress the humor, cause I can't wait to hear what you really think. I'll drop on by the tart to check in on ya'.

Anonymous said...

I'm glad to give you something to enjoy eating, or at least enjoy writing about eating. -SIL