Tuesday, June 24, 2008

local junk food: a deep fried relapse

So what is this now, like, the third deep fried post? I don't even want to do a cholesterol test right now, but let's just say I've started running again. Anyway, as the title suggests, I've suffered a relapse and gone and made corn dogs. And jalapeƱo poppers. And artichoke hearts. Uhh, and, fried chicken. But that was another night and I intentionally didn't take any pictures, so there was no evidence. Well that and I didn't want to alert Biggles to my doings, which I guess I just blew by saying that. (Fried chicken is in your future buddy!) Anyway, it was a dream come true........

As I was cutting the skewers for the hot dogs, I was imagining a way to cook the dogs in a vertical position and hold them in place. With a plan hatched, I whacked the dogs into smaller two-bite portions. I gave the peppers a seeding, blanching and buttermilk bath before their stuffing and first coat of batter. Then they spent some time in the fridge getting nice and cold. I used buttermilk and eggs in the half cornmeal half whole wheat batter. No beer this time. Well, more like no beer for the batter.

I used an old MacGyver technique involving some sticks and a piece of gum. Had I an underwire bra at my disposal it would have been more, well, stable, but my device did the trick. It allowed me to suspend the dogs somewhat upright during the frying. They tended to float off to one side so I would correct this a bit with my hands during the cooking to keep them fully submerged. The poppers I simply tossed in and gave a flip after a minute. Being cold to start out, just about the time the cheese gets melty and begins squirting out, they're done.

The picture is fuzzy because it's an action shot taken while moving at high speed towards the table. This was a sample plate, including corn dogs and poppers. They were simply divine. After I ate around 13 or 14 dogs and 3 poppers (on my own) there was still a touch of batter left. So I tossed in a few artichoke hearts we had in the fridge. These cooked in a matter of about a minute and went down the throat even faster. As you can see, they didn't even make it onto the plate.

So, at this point, I'm not doing anymore lying. I love my deep fryer and you're just gonna have to pry it from my burnt-from-hot-oil-spattered paws if you want to use it!


K & S said...

cool technique to keep the dogs in place! the deep fried sausage reminds me of anda-dogs back home, they use the andagi (Okinawan donut) batter to cover hot dogs and deep fry :)

leena! said...

I was quite happy to you see use both a deep fryer AND food on a stick in one post. It is almost too much awesome for me. ALMOST.

cookiecrumb said...

What do you do with the used oil?
(I loved your McGyver reference.)

Monkey Wrangler said...

Kat: Mmmmmm.......donut dogs. Simply brilliant!

Leena: Almost? Damn!
I'll try harder next time......

Cookie: I've been using a distillation process of sorts to refine it into fuel for running the deep fryer. Cool huh? Well, and a total pipe dream. But really, you can use some duct tape and a tampon or two to make one neat incendiary device for a greener July 4th! Oh, and the fireworks smell like fries! Too bad it's still illegal here in oaktown, so I just store the used stuff in glass jars until I find the right biodiesel place to give it to.

Anita said...

thank you for continuing to document your addiction as a cautionary tale for the rest of us. this is *exactly* why I haven't ever bought a deep-fryer, and you are steeling my resolve. :)

Rev. Biggles said...

Yeah !!! YOU GO !!! Deep fry, deep fry, deeeheeep fry.

Am nearly threatening to have a deep fry party here at Meathenge Labs. I have that 15 gallon pot, a 66,000 btu, dual burner propane stove (bought from ol CB) that'll make that oil hot in no time.

We can spend the afternoon deep frying everything within reach. Deep fried steak? We can do that. I can hardly wait.


Monkey Wrangler said...

Anita: Sure thing! I figured with a bit of luck someone might be intelligent enough to learn from my many mistakes. So really, thanks for representing that brighter portion of the populace.

Biggles: Yeah! Fry everything! Hell, I might try frying some english muffins and maybe a baguette or two while we're doing chicken fried steak.........when?