Friday, January 09, 2009

man stuff

Winter is a time for man stuff.

Like eating animals.

Using power tools in the garden.

Accidently melting shit. Stuff like that.

Sometimes a post just has to document it straight up........

Eating animals is time for man food: Meat and potatoes!

So I was at the Jack London market last Sunday and met Norman from Mountain Ranch. His second week at the market, he offers organic meats. Nice to talk to, I asked a few questions. He's been on the same land for 42 years and counting. Beef and chicken were to be had, at nice prices for such thoughtfully tended beasts. Seeing the tape on his glasses made me think about how truthfully he was speaking of his animal husbandry methods. I got me some of the ground beef. Upon getting home my love suggested meatloaf and this meal came together. Onion, egg, corn meal, garlic and cilantro in the loaf. Bacon grease fried brussel sprouts. Nummy roasted taters, onions and squash. The loaf was damn beefy. But like, YEEEEAAAAOOWWW!!! tasty! Norman, I'll be back.

Tough gardening conditions? Be a man and use power tools! Drill holes and plug them with dowel spawn!

Years back (like pre kids at least) I went to a fungus fair and learned about inoculating wood with dowels that have been impregnated with mushroom mycelium. I've thought about it every year since and this past year when the fair came around I went and purchased some dowel spawn. With fruit wood on hand from the in laws, I drilled a test hole and pounded one in. I only have 24 more to go, but according to the directions I should soak the wood first. I've been watering some logs for a few days now.

Ever suffer from "man eyes?" Go ahead and carelessly melt something!

I had opened up the oven door, glanced inside a bit, saw nothing and turned on the oven to preheat it. Sixteen minutes later, with hardly a noticeable smell I open the oven intending to insert some apple tarts and found this. If only I had looked thoroughly, inside the whole oven, thus, not just using my "man eyes" (as some ladies in my maternal family would say) I just might still have an intact top for my food processor. It looked really cool all melted though. It was filled with tiny bubbles still trapped within the smooth surfaces now draped over the rods on the oven rack.

Yeah, man stuff. Tomorrow, I'll be drilling holes and plugging the rest of this pile. Then, afterward when I'm hungry, I'm gonna go eat some meat. And maybe later, if I'm real lucky and the kids aren't looking and it doesn't involve any noxious fumes, I just might melt something. I might be a stay at home parent, but I'm still a man.


Mimi said...

I wanna get me some dowel spawn! Ye haw!!

I was comisserating with you on the melted thingy in the oven 'cause I may be a gal but I have "man eyes" too but then I realized I was a gal and wondered how the hell did the top of the food processor get into your oven????? Must be a guy thing. I may leave things in my oven but they are usually things that go in ovens like cookie sheets.

...dowel spawn. I love it! I'll be chanting it all weekend!

cookiecrumb said...

What was it doing in there???
(I'll tell you my story about losing the Sunday funnies inside the freezer some day.)

K and S said...

looking forward to reading more of your manly adventures!

Monkey Wrangler said...

Mimi: Spawn away! And yep, like wtf is it doing in the oven? You see I have no dishwasher, and hence no dish drier. That means that a lot of things with nooks and crannies that are hard to dry get tossed in the oven where the pilot light dries them out rather nicely. Usually its stuff like cookie sheets and cast iron thingys, but that damn lid occasionally makes it in. Not any more I suppose.

Cookie: Like Mimi said, because I'm a guy. Or drying it out. Either way I've blown it. Oh well. Can't wait to hear the funnies story. (I too have "lost" things in the fridge somewhere.)

Kat: I can't wait to write about them. Although the Zen buddhist in me says that really, I'm always doing manly things......

Rev. Biggles said...

Ya know another real man thing to do would be to attempt to melt it back. I'm just sayin'.


Monkey Wrangler said...

Biggles: Right before I took it out of the oven the thought crossed my mind. But the apple tarts needed to go in and I just couldn't McGyver something in time. So, when should I come over? I figure you have waaaaay more appliances and bbq's to choose from in finding just the right heat to get the job done!

Rev. Biggles said...

OH! I have a portable convection oven that would be outstanding!


ps - Years ago I came home to find M in a snit, attempting to remove the plastic food saver containers from the oven rack. I'd put them in there to dry ...

Anonymous said...

Wonderful blog. I love the "man eyes" bit. Will have to use that disparagingly against my beloved husband.

If you set a plastic soda bottle on fire and hold it over a non-flammable surface, the plastic will start to drip very satisfying flaming drips of molten plastic. It makes an awesome sound. If it lands on your leg, it will burn you. Just so you know.

PS Do NOT tell your kids about this:)

Monkey Wrangler said...

Biggles: Can I borrow the convection oven, or should I come over to use it?

OPS: Thanks for dropping by and saying hi, but especially for the flaming plastic bottle tip. Too cool!

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