Tuesday, August 18, 2009

new word: engmuffpusa

Words are not enough. The ineffable rules. As a result, sometimes, you just gotta make shit up in order to make it "fit." With this in mind, I introduce a new food word: engmuffpusa.

It all started here. I get to the end of cutting out the muffins and contemplate the fate of the scraps or "negative." Usually, I gather this into a ball, give it a gentle squeeze and roll it out again, then cut a few more muffins. The second round of scrap has too much gluten development to properly be called an english muffin, so what to do? Pull a Biggles. Say "just add pork."

With some yummy smoked bits around the house, I diced up the end hunk. I fished around in the cheesey drawer for something smallish and came up with some swissy thing. Pressing these it into the dough ball, I folded it in on itself a few times and then gave it a cornmeal dusting. Griddling it up same as the others, it turns into one divine hunk of muffin love.

My two year old grabs one from the counter while still hot and says "dat engmuff (then pausing to correct himself) meat cupcake is HOT!" I bust up laughing then try to give him credit for calling it two things at once.
"It's kinda like an english muffin and a pupusa sweetie."
"ENG-MUFF-PUSA?" His little nose gets all in a crinkle. Then he breaks his face with a smile, and saunters off, stuffing the engmuffpusa into his face and repeating the word over and over.

Next time scraps were around, my mind drifted to the topic of universal dark matter. For one thing, without it, orbits would not be the same. Kitchen orbits. It got me thinking how the "negative" leftover from muffin cutting is a form of dark matter. Unwitnessed (for the most part), but certainly part of the overall accounting and trajectory of things. More importantly though, it is wasted food if not used. Luckily, sometimes, serendipitous use yields amazing results. Besides, adding chocolate chips to just about anything is superb, no? Well, that and the fact that they are another form of dark matter.

Breaking it open, it reminded me of having the best mom in the world. When my sis and I were kids, occasionally, ma would bust out with chocolate chip studded pancakes. Pure decadence to some; for others, addressing the ravenous sweet-tooth genes that were handed down. Fond, fond memories. I just know these thoughts were loitering around the synapses when this experiment fell out of my head.

Whether using up kitchen dark matter, or acting as receptacle for meat and cheese trimmings. Maybe serendipity or deep seated culinary memory, savory or sweet, the engmuffpusa is the bomb. Try one. Or six.

Now repeat after me:

ENGMUFFPUSA?

Engmuffpusa!

12 comments:

K and S said...

sounds delicious!

Kimberly said...

Wow...what a compliment...love, Mom

Mimi said...

Wow, I bet those would be worth as much as $100 dollar bills at the farmer's market!

The chocolate chip muffins are making me hungry!

chris said...

Hey engmuffpusa,
This is Chris from the Old Rasputin tasting (where's the post about that???). Drop me a line. A friend of mine is doing a beer tasting on Saturday and I thought you might be interested.

Mrs. L said...

Engmuffpusa? You know I'd buy one if you sold them :)

Monkey Wrangler said...

Kat: Mmmm and they smell good too!

Ma: Awwwww, perfectly deserving Ma!

Mimi: 100 bucks?!? Really??? Maybe I should consider a plane flight with a suitcase full of them and come shop your market sometime.

Chris: Hey thanks for dropping by the monkey ranch! If only I had more than two pictures from the tasting I'd do a post about it, but understandably, things got a little hazed after the 2nd pour......
Beer tasting?
I tried to check out your blog but, DENIAL!!! Hopefully you will read here again and try this out:
geo
dylan (all one word)
at that there comcast
dot netty

tag! you're it!

Mrs. L: I'll put you on the list of folks to call first if the shop ever opens....or if you ever hit the Berkeley market while visiting the east bay, write me and we'll barter.

Chilebrown said...

ENGMUFFPUSAGOOFBALL

Monkey Wrangler said...

Chile: MEATBALLHEAD!!

Rev. Biggles said...

I'm such a doof! I've been off planet for most of the summer and missed your most awesome post! I'm famous on the internet.

xo, Biggles

Vivian said...

You've got a smart boy!

Monkey Wrangler said...

Biggles: Off planet? Like the moon, or uranus? (HAH!!)

No, really, maybe the assteroid belt? (I KILL myself!)

Give me something to work with here huh?

VIvian: Well, of course I think he is brilliant like his big sis, so it sure makes it nice to hear it from others. Thanks!

Shuna Fish said...

HYSTERICAL!
WONDROUS!
THANK YOU!
ENGLISH MUFFINS THANK YOU!
hello to all the monkeys!
xoxo